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Life According to Tony-Twonames Episode 6

We’re storytellers at 2SER. It’s in our DNA. Recently, we’ve taken to the tale of Tony-Twonames, a scrappy terrier from the western suburbs of Sydney who found himself hurtled into a whole new life in Double Bay.  Who doesn’t love a good reinvention story?

 

Each week, we follow the adventures of Tony as he navigates his new world, from the prim and proper poodles of Double Bay to the curious conundrum that is his new family.

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Sex tapes.

 

Just because I live in an apartment in Double Bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, Western suburbs that is, I’m a cairn terrier cross.

 

I now know how Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton feel. Although I think my situation is worse because “my mum” sent around my sex tape.

 

So, here’s the deal. Just like humans, dogs get urges. Whether you like it or not, we get sexual urges too. And we need to act on those urges. It’s stress relief, boredom breaking, helps take the tension out of our shoulders, can shift the monotony of a dragging afternoon.

 

Anyway, so now you know. I try to do it in private. It’s not like I’m on the couch going for it with a pillow. No. I go to my bed, take my moment in private, and show it who’s daddy. It’s fair to say I’m an energetic lover. I get my whole body into it, really feel the moment.

 

So there I am, doing my signature move, when I catch in the corner of my eye, the lady filming me on her phone. And to add insult to injury, she’s LAUGHING! Lucky I have a thick coat otherwise that kind of ridicule could break a dog. I stop and wait for her to leave before finishing the job. Because we all know there is no worse job left undone.

 

I tried not to think about it, hoped it was just a lapse in concentration on her part. That is until I heard her on the phone, laughing about my hump day video. Where’s the dignity? Is nothing sacred anymore? I mean, who knows where it has been sent on to from there. I don’t mean to big note myself but it’s quality viewing. Kim and Paris at least made some cash out of their romps. I haven’t seen a cent for my indignation.

 

Just because I live in an apartment in double bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, western suburbs that is. I’m a Cairn Terrier cross.

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