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Life According to Tony-Twonames Episode 7

We’re storytellers at 2SER. It’s in our DNA. Recently, we’ve taken to the tale of Tony-Twonames, a scrappy terrier from the western suburbs of Sydney who found himself hurtled into a whole new life in Double Bay.  Who doesn’t love a good reinvention story?

Each week, we follow the adventures of Tony as he navigates his new world, from the prim and proper poodles of Double Bay to the curious conundrum that is his new family.

Fur baby

Just because I live in an apartment in Double Bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, western suburbs that is. I’m a cairn terrier cross.

If she ever has a baby I’m screwed!

The love she lavishes on me is insane! I’m not complaining, I can handle being carried and cuddled and treated like royalty. It’s just diametrically opposite to my life in Liverpool.

For example, now, we have three flights of stairs to go down each morning for my first leak. I’m usually still a little groggy after waking up. If I don’t feel like walking down them, and lets be honest, my five inch legs find it kind of rough, I just sit down and flip my good ear over and boom! She picks me up and carries me down. We do this head touching thing, forehead to forehead like Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper singing at the Oscars. She thinks it’s all cutsey but really, I am just Jedi mind training her to carry me down every morning.

If she does have a kid, I would like to be thanked for training her. We never leave home without poo bags, snacks, a ball for me to play with and if it’s cold, my jumper. On road trips she packs water, a travel bowl, my safety belt, and a blanket for me to lie on. I don’t like the term fur baby, but I’m happy to wear it whilst it guarantees my position as top dog in the house.

Being an only dog is awesome. Things run by my rules. I can bark at whoever I want, I get all the left overs, there’s no competition when I play chasey, and all the chew toys are mine.

Old mate isn’t all that happy that two of us are now vying for her affection. I can see it in his eyes when the lady and I are on the couch all snuggled up watching TV. He looks over from his armchair, realises I’m getting all the love, and then promptly comes and boots me off so he can sit beside her. I simply proceed to lie myself across the two of them, something only possible because the lady allows it. Old mate would push me off in a second if he could.

The funny thing is, he thinks it’s bad with me around. He better not get her up the duff. He might even do it just to spite me!

Just because I live in an apartment in Double Bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, western suburbs that is. I’m a cairn terrier cross.

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