We’re storytellers at 2SER. It’s in our DNA. Recently, we’ve taken to the tale of Tony-Twonames, a scrappy terrier from the western suburbs of Sydney who found himself hurtled into a whole new life in Double Bay.  Who doesn’t love a good reinvention story?

Each week, we follow the adventures of Tony as he navigates his new world, from the prim and proper poodles of Double Bay to the curious conundrum that is his new family.

Eau De Dog

Just because I live in an apartment in Double Bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, western suburbs that is. I’m a cairn terrier cross.

The first time she closed us in, I thought what the heck is going on here. The bathroom is one of the smallest rooms in the place. Chasey was going to get pretty boring pretty fast. Then she turned the tap on. The sound of water took me straight back to Liverpool and the hose and I started to quiver?! I was totally un prepared for what happened next. She picked me up, put me in the bath tub, and showered me in warm water.

After the first drenching, I thought I was in the clear. I gave a huge shake in preparation of making a break for it. But oh no, then came the sudds. Now, I work hard to perfect my scent. A bit of dead possum here, a sprinkling of bird poo there, and a good roll in grass that’s been wee-ed on by several other dogs. But no. In one fowl swoop, weeks of rolling and scenting are undone. She shampoos me to within an inch of my life! Suds in my eyes, suds in my ears. Canine ear canals CAN NOT GET WET. Do you think she obeys that? Hell no! She just rubs the shampoo all over me.

The lady has to hold me in there with one hand, and then try to operate the tap, squeeze out the shampoo and wash me down with the other. It’s like a reverse game of tug of war. I push and try to leap out, she pushes and tries to hold me in.

Once the sudding is done, the tap comes back on. I relax a little because I want those damn smelly bubbles off me. The minute the last one was rinsed down the drain hole, reverse tug of war is back on. This time she’s reaching for the towel with one hand. Lady, I ain’t hanging around for you to ruffle me to within an inch of my life. She let’s just a little too much pressure off me and I slip out from under her hand and bolt out of the bath tub. Cuttting laps of the bathroom gets me real dizzy, real quick. So much so that I have to stop, which lets the lady catch up and towel me down.

Every time I think my scent is getting just right, I find myself locked in the bathroom, with the lady talking sweetly to me, I know it’s about to be game on.

Just because I live in an apartment in Double Bay, doesn’t mean I forget where I come from. I’ll always be a Westie, western suburbs that is. I’m a cairn terrier cross.